What Did T. Read in 2022?

 




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Duḥkha (दुःख) Hardship

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  I haven't written in a long time. That is because my life the last 14 months has been boiled down to its absolute essentials. What do I need to do right now in order to survive ?  I find myself asking questions like: Is there anything causing me stress that can be eliminated from my life in order to bring a modicum of peace?  In the last 14 months, I have experienced the following:  * being reported to the Trump administration's Department of Education * being reported to Congressman Bob Onder * listening to radio broadcasts in which I am accused of "pushing porn" on unwitting students * being doxxed from behind an anonymous account * being pursued by reporters  * helping to overturn a school board election * hyperventilating in the office in between classes * sitting at home on FMLA once I became too non-functional to teach * visiting the courthouse to ask for a restraining order * interviewing and meeting with attorneys * switching jobs and careers in an a...
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Choice

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When I used to teach The Giver, I asked students to create their own utopias. What would it look like? How would order be maintained? What would you eradicate that is present in our current world, and what would you add? How would you do it? It was an interesting exercise. It kind of made me wonder what a utopia would look like for me. I think it would be a world without decisions. I fkking hate decisions. I guess that's pretty ironic, given that the lack of choices in The Giver is what makes it a dystopia and what the protagonist works to overcome. It's weird how one man's dystopia is another man's utopia. I guess it's like John Milton said: "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." Today, I had a 2nd interview for a position teaching high school English in my SEVENTH district. Instead of preparing, I did the following things: * scrolled through friends' Goodreads updates * shopped for eye shadow, then dec...
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Sankalpa - Intention

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I can measure the eras of my life by the book genres I've loved: In my 20's, romance -- girl meets boy; they fall in love; happily ever after. In my 30's, suspense -- the husband is actually a serial killer & has been gaslighting her for the last decade!!!!!! In my 40's, psychology -- how to be so healthy a serial killer would never be interested in you. My latest read is The Mountain Is You : It was the only audiobook available at the library that I had not already read.  My initial idea was to yoga nidra  myself: I determined to listen to it as I fell asleep each night, & then re-listen to it in the morning to cement in all the knowledge I inevitably acquired whilst sleeping. I warned friends & family that I was about to become extremely wise and self-actualized overnight. They took it in stride. However, I found that come morning, I was too distracted by the New York Times crossword puzzle & my Duolingo streak to want to start up an audiobook about un...
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Kannadi - Mirror

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In a place some 8,000 miles away, there is a small village called Aranmula. In that tiny corner of the Indian subcontinent, lives a family of alchemists. For hundreds of years, this family has jealously guarded the secret of the kannadi , or mirror, of Truth. It is said that the family was first conscripted -- along with several others -- to create objects for a temple to Krishna. That temple, now over a thousand years old, traces its lineage back to the  Mahābhārata  and is alleged to have been built by the great warrior Prince Arjuna himself. All kannadi  today are descendants of the temple Kannadi in that they follow a carefully-guarded family recipe in a complex series of steps by which tin, copper, and other alloys are alchemized to create a reflective surface that reveals the True Self.  Grab the closest hand mirror you can find and take a look. What you see is a close approximation of what you really look like...but it's not perfect. If you lay the mirror flat...
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Tadsana - Mountain

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Here's a picture of me celebrating in front of a big-ass, famous mountain in Indonesia. Unfortunately, it is foggy and you cannot see the mountain. It's probably judgment for lying about menstruating when grilled by the holy man guarding the temple. I've been fortunate in the instructors I've had the opportunity to study under, particularly in Bali. One was Marylene Henry, who studied with the students of Orit Sanj Gupta , who is part of the lineage of Krishnamacharya himself. A bit of yoga history... Around 1,000 A.D. many yogis began moving toward the mountains and caves of the Himalayas, withdrawing from the world. They were devotees of Shiva and their leader was Matsyendra Nath, or the Fish Lord (from whom we get matsyendrasana , or Lord of the Fishes pose).  Under Nath's leadership, it is said that the yogis developed siddhis , or supernatural talents. Periodically, they would come down from the mountains to perform miracles for the common people, in order to d...
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Ujjayi - Victorious Breath

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I told Dr. B about having a panic attack after teaching yoga several weeks ago, and that after this happened, I decided I wanted to teach yoga so that -- by intentionally putting myself in anxiety-inducing situations -- I could learn to be strong through the panic. Dr. B said that basically what I'm doing is exposure therapy. He said exposure therapy is 100% the most difficult form of therapy. But also that it's the most effective. When he said that, I thought, "Well that settles it, I have to do this. It there's one thing I'm good at, it's choosing the most extreme option." So first I climbed a fkking rock wall. I did this for two reasons: the first reason is that I'm scared of heights. So I climbed that damn wall over and over. And the second, because the last (and only) time I went climbing was with my former best friend 4-ish years ago. I wanted to take climbing back, regardless of the fact that Charlotte had decided to leave and take our entire fr...
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Namaste - Godhead, Part I

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C.S. Lewis once said something to the effect of, “I don’t write to express what I think; I write to find out what I think.”  That sentiment has always resonated with me. I, too, try to work things out in my head by writing them down, moving them around, saying them differently, and just praying that at some point, I have a lightbulb moment where I can be like, “Oh! THAT must be what's going on inside me!” Sometimes it works, and sometimes even weeks after pressing “Publish,” I’m still trying to work things out in my head.  I say all that to warn you that this is that type of post.  Several days ago, I posted this to whatever it is we’re calling the Instagram/Facebook conglomerate these days: I didn’t come up with the original, but it really resonated with me, so I shared it to my stories. A woman I’ve met only a handful of times in my life (from church, of course) & haven’t spoken to in years, instigated the following exchange, via direct message: I am not good at co...
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